tracy-lee.com

My mind awoke by the feeling of your arm creeping over my waist, you left it laying above my hip. I rolled to face you, eyes heavy and tired, your face was peaceful, dreaming of what I did not know. A lullaby sung by birds hauntingly flowed through the air as I layed in between your arms in the safest place, the place I wanted to be the most. Time ticked by as I listened to the ins and outs of your breathing, your hair, as dark as coal, scattered in opposite ways. Warm rays of the sun filled our heaven and still you slept. We had no place to go, no reason to escape the comfort of the soft red blankets. I slowly drifted back to sleep. As the hours passed, I could feel you- though my mind was miles away. Your arms were safe, nothing could harm me.

The bright sun awoke me once more. Heaven looked different- there were no birds singing us lullabies. The blankets were no longer red, but as black and dark as night. I rolled to look at you, but you no longer were there, all I saw was an empty space. Your touch that I so knowingly felt was nothing more than a cold, misplaced pillow. I was far from the comfort of your arms, you were not laying beside me calm and peacefully dreaming.

I dreamt you were there, I dreamt you were my safe place.

The safest place I'd ever known.

She started out by starting as the adorable Cindy Lou Who, in How the Grinch Stole Christmas opposite Jim Carey. Which I only realized last year, after having watched it numerous times since 2000. She was the President's daughter in 2002s Spy Kids 2. And she can currently be seen on the Upper East Side as little Jenny Humphrey on The CW's smash hit Gossip Girl. This weeks Girl Crush is the stylish jail-bait Taylor Momsen.

Put it away guys, she's just turned 16 on July 26th, though I bet someone out there has a countdown going for how many minutes it is until she turns 18. This week is less Girl Crush more I wish I had her life when I was 16. She's on one of the hottest shows on tv, she gets to dress in outfits that cost more than what I make in a year and she rocks out with her band Pretty Reckless. I'm currently loving a song by them called Heart, check it out here. Who knew this tiny gal had that big of a voice? While her ever changing style seems to be more trendy than age appropriate these days, she can wear anything and rock it. I'm really digging her current platinum blonde rocker hair, though sadly that wouldn't be a good look for me. I'd like to see her gain a bit of weight though, she has started looking more and more like an anorexic fashion model than a healthy 16 year old. But then again, you'd never see a full figured girl on the Upper East Side, now would you?

I've decided to add another day to my ever growing list of on-going posts. As you all know I have a Girl Crush of the Week, that is always posted on Thursdays. Then on Sundays along with it being the day that Frank from Post Secret uploads a fresh batch of secrets, I post my favourite secret of the week as well as sometimes I share my own secrets. I sort of got this idea from Ari, cause she's posted a screenshot of her desktop image a few times, but I decided to switch it up a bit as use a screen shot of my Blackberry. If any Berry users are wondering how, there is a program that you can download called Capture It- set it as one of your convenience keys and voila! What do you guys have as your wallpaper?

As everyone knows, my dogs mean the world to me, they mean more than people I know. Trying to get a cute picture of Bandit and I is nearly impossible. Either I look bad, or he gets antsy and won't look at the camera. After a bit of cropping I got a perfect picture, he's looking at the camera and I'm kissing the top of his head. He's my little bear and he'll be with me always.

So I finally got around to changing the layout of my blog. It's not 100% finished yet because I want to change the banner around (again). I wanted something simple with just one column. Something similar to this great blog. It's simple, classy and elegant. I fiddled around with some HTML, after saving several copies of my old layout- you know just in case I fuck it up like I did so very well a few months ago. I think it works, but I want to check it on a few other browsers to make sure. It probably won't stay this way, I'm not liking how at the very bottom the blog archives are off to the left, but I don't know if there's anything I can do to fix that. I have to get back into the HTML and see. Thank god when I was in high school I took Information Technology and one assignment was to make our own website. But with codes always changing I've fallen behind.

So far what do you guys think? Are you digging the new layout (so far)? Do you like the old one better? Are you unsure and want to think about it? Feedback would be much appreciated!

UPDATE: So this layout is 99% complete. It's taken me forever to change the original layout around to something I liked. Just have to replace the banner with a .png instead of this fuzzy .gif that's up now. Have to switch the banner around as well because I can't seem to figure out how to change tracy-lee without completely removing it. But that's okay, I'm really happy with how it looks, might take some of you a little bit to get used to. I figured after blogging with basically the same layout for a year I should do a bit of an upgrade. Fingers crossed I don't fuck it up and next July, which will be my 2 year blogaversary, I'll buckle down and make a fiddle with a new layout!

The Post Secrets this week weren't very captivating to me. I decided to choose this particular one because it got me thinking, are the two people in these photographs happily friends? Happily lovers? Does it even matter if they are simply just happy? Maybe they are best friends who want to venture into being lovers. Maybe they are lovers who are best friends. Is that how it's supposed to be? I wouldn't know.

Lovers, keep on the road you're on. Runners, until the race is run. Soldiers, you've got to soldier on. Sometimes even right is wrong . They are turning my head out to see what I'm all about. Keeping my head down, to see what it feels like now. But I have no doubt, one day, we are gonna get out. Tonight maybe we're gonna run, dreaming of the Osaka sun, dreaming of when the morning comes. They are turning my head out to see what I'm all about. Keeping my head down, to see what it feels like now.

But I have no doubt, one day, the sun will come out.

Dreaming.

Him. We. Us.

This beautiful blonde has always been a favourite of mine, she's a natural when it comes to her comedic roles, which might have something to do with her genes. Her mother Goldie Hawn is a legend, her step-father Kurt Russell, a superstar. She was destined to become a star herself. This weeks Girl Crush is funny gal Kate Hudson.

Now when I've said she's always been a favourite, I've meant since How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. That's the first movie I really remember her from, I've never seen Almost Famous, though I suppose that's what shot her into stardom. Since then she's gone on to star in other movies Alex and Emma, You, me and Dupree, Raising Helen and, another one of my favourites, Bride Wars. I've been watching Bride Wars non stop the past couple of weeks, if you haven't seen it, I suggest you check it out, it's a cute movie that'll give you some laughs. She's been named one of People's 50 Most Beautiful a few times as well as named one of Maxim's 100 Sexiest Women in the World. She has one son with her former husband, Chris Robinson and is currently dating New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez (gross).

Harry Potter has been a part of my life for almost 10 years now. It was the first series of books that got me hooked on reading. Since reading the Twilight Saga, the Harry Potter books have been bumped down to second place. The movies, however, are far better than Twilight. Here's hoping New Moon, which is being released in November, will help erase the terrible acting and directing of that first movie. I've watched the Harry Potter movies countless time, I can recite the words and even know what facial expressions the actors make at certain times. I've have loved each movie and have always left the theatre with a great feeling. So needless to say I have been dying to see the latest installment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

First I should make a quick note for those of you who don't really follow the books, there is a war brewing between the good and the evil (isn't it always that way?) so the movies aren't as happy and bubbly as they used to be. The bright colours have darkened, just like the world they all live in.

I wanted to love this movie, I thought it was going to happen right away just like all the others. Sadly I was left feeling... well that's sort of the problem. I don't really know what it was I felt. I knew what was going to happen in the last third of the movie. So nothing was a shock to me, but I just felt myself sitting in the theatre waiting for it to be over. It's been a while since I've read the book, so maybe I forgot the book was boring too? I really can't say. I've got 4 books going on at the moment, so it'll take me a bit to finish the Half-Blood Prince. What I did like was how the whole cast has matured, they aren't these little annoying know it all kids anymore. Daniel Radcliffe on screen looks pretty fine- sadly off screen not so much. So at least for those 2.5 hours I got to think of Harry Potter being hot (bring back Cedric-- bring back Cedric!).

Update: On Tuesday I did go see it again, and sadly I still feel the same way. Something felt like it was missing, it was rushed and slow all at the same time. Sadly, I think this is my least favourite movie of the series. It was still good though, I'm not denying that, the visual effects were the best yet.

I was home on Sunday, so my routine was thrown off a bit. Normally I'm at my parents house and when Sunday morning rolls around I check all my websites and Post Secret and write my Sunday's Secret entry. Well Sunday I woke up at 11 and ended up going back to sleep around 1 and didn't wake up until almost 4. I guess I was tired. This weeks Post Secrets had a few for me to choose from, but when I saw this one I laughed and knew I had to write about it.

"I would rather watch movie all day than attend a social function."

That's pretty much me down to a tee. It's not that I'm scared to go outside or that I'm scared of people- no I'm not an agoraphobe. I dislike a lot of people, that's for sure, I get stressed and anxious, I like my alone time- but I don't like being alone. If that makes sense. Brenny and I were talking about that. If I could get my own dog I'd be a million times happier. I wouldn't be such a miserable person. Coming home to an empty apartment after a long day at work is emotionally draining, day after day. Who needs people when you have a dog, our two dogs, Bandit and Murphy, mean more to me than a lot of people I know (sorry). I can't wait to have one of my own, coming home to a little dog with it's tail wagging and jumping up to get close to me would be the highlight of my day. But it's true, I love movies, it's evident- I do have over 200 of them. The most movies I watched in a single day was 7. I'd rather spend the day in bed watching movies, than make the effort to get ready and have to deal with people. Just how I am, I am a hermit.

My secret, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. The original of course, the remake I can handle. The Oompa Loompas and Gene Wilder make me hide under my covers. That's part of the reason why I knew I needed to choose this secret, it was just too perfect. When I think of pedophiles, I think Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka. My kids will never be allowed to watch this movie.

I know, I know I was supposed to do this many, many days ago, but guess what I didn't! This lovely lady was one of 30 women trying to find love on the Bachelor, she made it to the top 3 only to be cut- but thankfully she did. She then became the newest Bachelorette and this time had 30 single men chasing after her. Rough life eh? This weeks Girl Crush is the Vancouver beauty Jillian Harris.

Jillian is a 29 year old restaurant interior designer who graduated from the British Columbia Institute of Technology with a degree in interior design (which actually sounds kind of interesting- something I might do, if I didn't hate school). Jillian is a bit of a kissing bandit, from what I've seen anyways, she's a prim and proper girl though, don't be fooled by all the smooching.

I have to be honest, I only started watching once she brought the guys to Vancouver. I think it's cool to see a place where I live on national tv. It was also when I picked who I think she should be with, again, I had never seen the show or the guys previously. It was her one on one date with Kiptyn, a 31 year old Business Developer from Encinitas, California- he was the one. I knew it, I could just tell from how they looked at each other. Fast forward several weeks later and hunky Kiptyn is in the final two. If Ed, the guy who left and came back, wins, I'll hunt her down and punch her. Then again, that means Kiptyn would go home single... hmm, how far is Encinitas from Vancouver?

Mathieu, I promise I'll write about Liv Tyler at some point, it'll be a surprise!

See Cynthia, I made it work!

A few months ago while watching an episode of One Tree Hill Peyton, my favourite, compiles a list of 100 songs for her unborn child to listen to when he or she grows up. Sounds kind of morbid I know, but at the time Peyton was having many complications during her pregnancy and at one point doctors were telling her that if she were to have the baby she might die- hence the morbid list. I decided then that I wanted to do the same, no obviously not for an unborn child- that I can promise you, but just in general, 100 songs that have in one way or another affected me, certain songs carry certain memories and some songs are just great ones to dance to. You don't have to listen to them, I'm not asking you to even like them- I actually don't care if you like them or not, it's my list, not yours. The following is the 100 songs I came up with.

I almost forgot about Post Secret today, my borrowed internet seems to be working right now so I thought I'd check them out and write a quick entry since I haven't done so since my two on Thursday. None of the secrets jumped out at me until I read this one, and even so it only jumped out at me on the second read through. Here again the "beautiful ones" are being talked about, only this time they are being made out to not know anything about men. I don't think that's true. The "beautiful ones" get all the men, so how would the "plain ones" know more? I'm plain and I know hardly anything about men. I spend my time reading the Twilight Saga, lusting over Robert Pattinson and reading the latest gossip- oh and twittering, I do that a lot also.

My secret, I know, 17, 27 or 37, boys, guys or men, they all want one thing. Maybe the "beautiful ones" haven't clued in about that yet? Someone should let them know.

Last night I dreamt of him. It was him, not any different. Still wanted, still hunted. He was there and I was there, in a loud, crowded place. He came and sat next to me. We talked. Focusing on each word the other spoke. Girls came up and interrupted, they tried to take his attention away. He was polite despite their screaming and crying. I waited to the side patiently while he threw me apologetic glances. I didn't mind. We stood to walk out. He was tall, taller than how I'd pictured him. I forced my nerves back deep down inside and we continued our conversation. The people spiraled around us. I blushed and hid my face. I tried to look away but I was forced to look back. His blue grey eyes never wandered. We were alone, together, in the crowd.

Then we were on a big green bus, one of those comfortable types, he was driving, I was 'second in command'. People would come and go and ever so often someone would ask "are you really him?" to which he'd respond with a nod. Everyone left and we arrived at a house, my house, though it wasn't my actual house. My Dad was there, though, again, it wasn't my actual Dad. The boy needed a smoke, as did I and we went out into the giant backyard. We walked and talked and found a picnic table to sit at. Its dark brown wood had been beaten and battered by the elements, the sun illuminated the green that surrounded us. He took the cigarette I had in my hands and gave me his, traded. His cigarette tasted better than mine.

Time blurred and in sudden flashes we were on a couch laughing, we were in a grocery store holding hands, it swirled and swirled, picture after picture. Sweatshirts, sweatpants. A sea of blankets and pillows. His voice never faltered. I never looked away. There was smoke and there was laughter, green grass and blue skies.

I awoke and I sighed. I rolled out of bed and back into reality. A reality where he doesn't even know I exist.

She plays the brainiac, know it all Hermione Granger, best friend to the wizard of all wizards Harry Potter. She's 18 and has made more money than most people will ever see in a lifetime. Fashion houses all want to dress her, but she just wants to be a normal teen and head to university. This week's Girl Crush is the adorably well dressed Emma Watson.

Born in Paris, France she was almost destined to love fashion. She's the best dressed teen in Hollywood these days. She certainly didn't start out this way though. Her first role, coincidentally enough, is the roll she's best known for. For any female fan of the Harry Potter series, she got the part they all wanted. In the end she will have spent 10 years playing Hermione. She's graced the pages of countless magazines, her face has been everywhere but that hasn't stopped her from getting an ego and slacking off. This talented teen is heading to either Cambridge, Trinity College, Columbia University, Yale or Brown University to further her education, but hasn't settled on which she'll attend in the fall. Seems like art imitates life for this stunning Brit. You won't catch her stumbling drunk out of a club at 2 in the morning. Chances are this gal is at home sound asleep.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hits theatres on July 15th, I'm almost as excited about this as I am for New Moon in November, but you can bet I'll be seeing it opening weekend. Harry Potter took over my life before the Twilight series did, but thankfully I smartened up and moved from Daniel Radcliffe on to Robert Pattinson.

To say girls and women these days have low self esteem is an understatement. How can we even try to compare to the flawless, thin, 'perfect' women we see in the pages of magazines and on movie screens? Yes, it's lighting, it's photoshop, it's plastic surgery, it's even deadly things like anorexia and bulimia. But it's all perceived as beautiful. We can wear make up to hide spots and marks, we can change the colour of our hair- during the day we can be one person, during the night another. But at the end of the day, you can't cover up the sadness that seeps out of our eyes for not being what society sees as 'beautiful'.

It's not a secret I'm not happy about myself. I never have. I've always been the big girl in the group of friends. I remember in 9th grade my friends and I got together with clothes we no longer wore or wanted and put them in a pile and everyone got something old, but new. Everyone except me. Nothing of theirs fit me and none of them wanted anything of mine. I walked home feeling worse about myself, all the excitement about finding something new had vanished. I shy away from doing a lot of stuff because of how uncomfortable in my own body I am. I haven't owned a bathing suit since I was 12, which means I haven't gone swimming in almost 10 years. And I love swimming. I don't go to beaches and lay in the sun. I used to tan in my parents backyard because it's completely secluded. For my grad I didn't even wear a fancy prom dress because I wasn't comfortable in having my arms uncovered. I used to wear t-shirts when I went clubbing because I wasn't comfortable in anything else. Even now, the odd time I go to a club, I'll wear a 'sexy' shirt or dress but hate the fact that I feel like my arms are flopping around. The only time I've felt semi-comfortable is when I've been tanned, fat looks better when it's not pale white. Sometimes I have to stop and think about how people who are 250+ pounds feel if I feel like this and I'm not even close to 200 pounds. I don't like going out anywhere without make up because my skin is not the greatest, it's more bad then it is good. Again, when I see people who have worse skin than I do, I don't know how they can possibly go out without trying to cover it up.

Most of the time I walk around with a very fragile bubble of self esteem. If someone looks at me, I'm thinking they are looking at my bad skin or how my thighs don't have a gap between them. I don't even comprehend that they might be looking at me because they are jealous of my eyes or how my boobs are bigger than theirs. No matter how hard I try when I look in a mirror I see my flaws and nothing more. Don't tell me I'm not trying to change my body or my skin to make me feel better about myself. I have been for years, I'll work my butt off and I end up hurting myself and losing any motivation I've gained. I've been going to a dermatologist for years and my parents have spent thousands of dollars on potions, creams and medications to help and it hasn't helped much. I feel like I've been dealt a shitty hand in the looks department.

The fact that I'm alone and haven't had a boyfriend in over 2 years doesn't help much either. I look around and see people larger than I am or have worse skin than I do and they have someone, someone who loves them and thinks they are beautiful. Where is my person to love me and think I'm beautiful despite my hatred towards my appearance. Every guy I've liked over the years has either easily left me or not even had an ounce of feeling in return. I get frustrated and start ripping myself apart further. I shouldn't need a man to be happy but I do. I'm a relationship person. The happiest I've ever been is when I've been with someone. I see friends go from relationship to relationship with ease or friends who have had one relationship for months and months, years even. I've always been the single friend, the single big girl. In high school I liked this somewhat popular guy and got enough courage to start talking to him (over msn, but still). We talked and talked and shared things about ourselves, I thought there might have been a chance he returned the feelings. Turns out he had no interest in me, he wanted my friend. I basically set them up and they've been together ever since. I'm 21 and I'm miserable. I go home to an empty apartment and I call my parents because I have no one else to call. As cheesy as it sounds, if I at least had a dog to come home to I wouldn't feel so alone all the time. I'd have something to love with my heart. I love my family and I love my two dogs, that goes without saying, but what can I love for the five days I don't see them. My days turn into mind numbing blurs of the same feelings over and over again. I don't see the beauty in myself that others see, if they even see any.

It all makes me wonder that if I did look like these models and actresses we see everywhere would I be truly happy or would I still not feel 'beautiful'? Is being thin and blonde beautiful? Is being curvy and having brown hair beautiful? Red hair and freckles, is that beautiful?

Does anyone even know anymore?

I don't want to sound like an ungrateful brat, I realize I'm lucky to have two eyes, two legs, two arms, I breathe with no difficulty and I have no incurable disease.

I own a lot of movies, over 200 by now, I don't like playing favourites because there is something about each one that I love. That said, if I had to have a list of favourite movies this one would be near the top. 2001's Crazy/Beautiful takes you into the life of Nicole, a 17 year old rich girl and Carlos, a 17 year old boy from the wrong side of the tracks trying to make all the right choices. They, of course, fall in love. But Nicole's self-destructive behaviour constantly puts Carlos' bright and promising future in jeopardy. This movie makes me feel as if no matter what someones imperfections are, there is always someone out there in the world who will love you no matter what. Carlos helps bring life into Nicole's dark world, it's challenging, but if you love someone enough you'll do whatever you can to help make them feel it.

I'm not a big fan of Kirsten Dunst which you wouldn't know because Wimbledon and Elizabethtown are another pair of movies I watch a lot. But she does a great job at capturing Nicole's confident side while still keeping her vulnerability apparent. If you haven't seen the movie you need to check it out, or watch it online here.

A little unknown fact about me is that I like tennis. I'm not a huge tennis geek and know all the players and all their stats. But I enjoy watching the four Grand Slam Tournaments: The Australian Open, The French Open, The US Open and my favourite being Wimbledon, even with all its rain delays and 8 hour time differences.

I started watching back in 2002-2003 because of a young player named Andy Roddick. Yes, he was a bit rowdy but boy could he serve and he wasn't bad on the eyes either. It also helped that he was dating my favourite Hollywood lady at the time, Mandy Moore, and I always liked when they panned the camera over to her. I remember his first Grand Slam win in straight sets against Juan Carlos Ferrero in the 2003 US Open, the look on his face and how he ran up into the crowd to hug his family, Mandy and his coaching team. I cried I was so happy for him, it was very emotional for any fan of his and to see how it felt for him still gives me shivers when I watch it. I was hoping for that same feeling on Sunday during the Wimbledon finals instead I almost cried because of how heartbroken he looked.

I hate Roger Federer. It's like being a fan of the Montreal Canadiens and hating the Boston Bruins and the Toronto Maple Leafs. If you are a Roddick fan, you just naturally hate Federer. Not because he's a bad guy or anything but because he has beaten Andy almost every single time they have met. Out of the 21 times they have played against each other Roger has beaten Andy 19 times, Andy has only won twice. On Sunday, a lot of doubt was placed on Andy's shoulder simply because of the numbers against him. Oh and well the small thing that if Roger were to win the game he would be the only player in tennis history to win 15 Grand Slam titles. Showoff. But honestly, I'm sick of all the press Roger gets, yes he's a great player, yes he knows what he's doing, but I'm tired of knowing who is going to win. I'd like a little more excitement please.

I woke up at 6am on Sunday to watch the match. I was tired and ended up sleeping for part of the first set. The way Andy was playing, you could tell he was dying to hear his name called as the Champion of Wimbledon. The two men went on to play for four and a half hours, back and forth, back and forth the match was, for the most part, even in score. But I thought that Andy played with more heart and Roger with more dollar signs in his eyes. I was on pins and needles the entire last set, that big huge 16-14 set. When Roger finally won, my heart sank along with a lot of other peoples. There was so much heartbreak in Andy's eyes while he was trying to hold back the tears of disappointment. I just wanted everyone to leave him alone and let him go be with his family and his team. Roger was an ass while being interviewed, now I don't know if it was on purpose or the fact that he doesn't have very good English but he talked about being heartbroken last year that he didn't win and came in second. Kind of a low blow to the person standing behind you, who hasn't won a single Wimbledon title while you have won five previously Roger. Oh, and I love how he came prepared with a brand shiny new white and gold jacket with the number 15 on the back. Well Roger, you can take that 15 and shove it because someone out there will beat your record and then you'll know how Pete Sampras feels now.

I'm not bitter or anything, I swear.

This one made me laugh. I have a tiny apartment so I can relate. I don't lose things though, I put them where they should be, but then I have a hard time remembering where that place was. My memory sucks, I hardly remember high school and I only graduated three years ago. I forget things people tell me almost instantly and I'm the worlds worst email returner, because I check them on my phone and just forget to write back. Thankfully I can remember things that are important or things I'm interested in.

I swear, I'm really an 85 year old trapped in a 21 year old body.

I'm tired, have been all week. This has honestly been the worst week in a really long time. All I think about is crawling into bed and not coming out. Ever. I went home sick Tuesday and ended up sleeping for 3 hours. Then I had Wednesday off which was nice, but more of a pain because it was right in the middle of the week meaning that I got all confused the next day. Oh right, work, do I really have to? I said to myself as my alarm was playing. Yes, you are saving these days off for something later on. I answered. You know you are tired when you answer yourself- then again, I have no one to answer but myself.

The lady was my first ever girl crush. She played a young girl who was falling in love for the first time and who was dying at the very same time. In How to Deal, she played a teen struggling to let a boy in while her best friend was pregnant and her parents were splitting up. She was the Presidents daughter on a mission for freedom in Chasing Liberty and she's gone on to play many, many other roles. Oh, and she's also a singer, actually she was a singer first- then an actress... but it's hard to tell anymore. This weeks Girl Crush is the multi-'talented' Mandy Moore.

Mandy Moore was a huge part of my teen years, while most girls were looking up to Britney or Christina, I admired Mandy. I loved her movies, still to this day I'll pop in Chasing Liberty or How to Deal (in total I have 6 of them). Mandy is boring and I love that about her cause I'm boring too. If I was a celebrity I'd be her, minus the creepy husband. I don't like Ryan Adams, he's too scrubby for her. She should have stayed with Andy Roddick- It's actually because of Andy that I remembered about her today, a co-worker and I were talking about tennis and I mentioned how Andy was my favourite and that I loved when he was dating Mandy (the rhyming names thing was adorable). I had a wall in my room covered with pictures of her, I actually think it worried my parents, I think they thought I was going to be a lesbian or something (don't worry Mom and Dad, I like boys). I coloured my hair dark when she did, I wanted to cut my hair short a la How to Deal and it made me feel normal that she was tall and awkward cause I've always been tallish and somewhat awkward. Even though I'm not big on her music anymore and her movies have kind of sucked, Mandy Moore will always be a wonderful gal to look up to.

Oh man, Brenny is gonna hate this.